In my previous blog I mentioned that “Netflix and Chill” is a classic date for a man hoe. However, this phenomenon has become increasingly popular. So much so that countless memes are being made about it. First, let’s define what exactly is Netflix and Chill.
Netflix-this is an on-demand streaming service, most movies and TV series (once you got premium *cough cough*)
Chill– an urban slang to mean, hanging out or liming.
“Netflix and Chill”
You see why it bothers me that these two words when joined together can have a completely different meaning? I just don’t get it
Is it that this new generation is settling for going straight to the bedroom and not even bothering with the courting stage. I may be naive to that fact, but I believe in chivalry. Flowers are cute, whatever happened to a love note or a card? Is that not a thing anymore? Is taking a girl out on a date to dinner or a stroll in the park too much effort to give? Let’s not forget how things used to be when pictures were still black and white- we actually respected ourselves.
I can’t see how its a date to tell a smallie “link me in 51 Thursday”, how are you having meaningful discourse and sharing likes and dislikes when she’s “cocking right up” and you stabbing from behind. Or the fact that taking a girl straight to your house, with the low lights, horror movie (cause females be acting jumpy), and 5 mins into the movie hormones raging cause you’re not speaking to each other but your bodies doing the talking.
Ladies, this isn’t bashing the guys- but its both parties, what you allow a man to do is exactly what he’ll do to you. A guy knows which tree to bark up on. Cheap prices attract many customers. The baddest man hoe isn’t gonna come around a girl who has her head on, with a high level of self-respect and approach her with “Yo Tasha, wa u for? Netflix and chill awa?” No… Who are you attracting?
A calm Sunday evening while taking a drive with some friends around the savannah, we saw this gorgeous red-skinned girl. Her skin flawless, legs for days as she was showing them off in short shorts, curly hair, and brown eyes. Plaint talk… She was a looker (coming from a heterosexual female) even I did a double take, along with my two male and two female friends. Comments were “Damnnn that body”, “Omg, I love her hair”, “Woman to have”… and then out of the blue, “Too bad de only good red thing issa dollar!” that last comment had everyone else saying “For real” and in agreement. However, I’ve heard this all my life and its a social belief that majority of Trinibagonians use. Let’s be real if you’re a Trini there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve heard that phrase.
“De only good red thing is a dollar?” but why? My friends didn’t know the girl personally so why jump to that conclusion? This is where my curiosity to understand such a stereotype came from.
What does this statement even mean?
In the simplest way to put it, “De only good red thing is a dollar” with reference to a female who has lighter skin or as we know it “red skin” (usually mixed women), means that when it comes to red “things” the dollar beats back the woman, as the woman isn’t good, then she obviously has to be bad, right? Not really, this statement also attaches a connotation behind it that implies that “all red woman bad”. Don’t front here people we know what bad in Trini slang means.
As much as we have feminists in an abundance these days, we can’t forget that we live in a patriarchal society where in the colonial era women were objectified and seen as objects to use, this is where we get the reference of encapsulating a women when speaking of “red things”
Being as objective as I can be and also doing research, surveys and ethnographic studies, I came to the conclusion that this stereotype is completely unfair to say the least. Majority of these women are usually perceived in a negative light because of this local stereotype that has existed since I could remember myself.
Why do people think red women are “bad”?
So I did some investigation into why people assume this. My method was to post a status on Facebook and allow the comments and opinions to pour in, the following images are screenshots of what was said.
From the screenshots you can see that although there is some division among the comments, the majority of people agree that “the only good red thing is indeed a dollar”
The following are screenshots from a heated conversation about “red women” on Twitter:
Now these screenshots are extreme opinions of red women
People have usually said:
Red women have a bad attitude
Red women feel they better than everyone else
Red women like to “horn”
Red women too stush
Red women like material things
Red women can’t cook
Red women too high maintenance
Red women only good for looks and nothing else
The list goes on and on and on and on
Good “red women”
I can’t agree with the popular consensus because I have red skinned friends who are nothing like what these stereotypes state. My friends are all humble, friendly, faithful , down to earth, independent and ambitious. These young women have more to offer than just their great looks and complexion. They’re all furthering their studies and have never been in any compromising situation where they characters were questionable. However, they have all been victims of these stereotypical comments and even thought they’ve complained, they moved passed them because their goals are bigger than stereotypes that aren’t true, especially those that are attached to them because of their complexion.
So to conclude this blog, the only good red thing IS INDEED a dollar, because women aren’t things… We’re human beings.
Gender stereotypes have existed for as long as we all can remember. There has always been constant and fixed characteristics expected of men and women.
Oh mighty men, the strong and powerful, who are expected to be the breadwinners: dominant, independent and full of reason. While the ever so sensitive and fragile women who are natural caregivers and homemakers: submissive, dependent and emotional. These are just a few of the many characteristics expected from each gender role.
Stemming from medieval days, women were seen as objects “trophy wives” if we may call them. They were ornamental objects. Men made the decisions, they had the careers, they got the adventures. While women sat at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children; until her husband came home of course, so she could serve him. Women were not seen to be able to perform tasks that required much physical labor. The ads in the 1950s-1970s frequently portrayed women as helpless, weak and incompetent. This Del Monte Ketchup up from in 1953 shows the woman looking almost surprised in knowing she can open this “woman safe” ketchup bottle, as they coined the term. Talk about making a mockery of women, the feminists of today would throw a never ending fit about this ad.
Today in our society, women’s strive to gain equality has landed us being able to have careers in teaching, medicine and even law; which were all predominated by men. However, it is stereotyped that a woman is manly if she opts to become a mechanic or a carpenter and men are stereotyped as being effeminate when they choose to be a makeup artist, hair stylist or even design women’s clothing.
Although, times are changing and women are “taking over” we can still see that patriarchal backbone in the society still coming through. Indira Ghani, the first and only female Prime Minister of India was assassinated by two of her own body guards. What was the reason? Her gender of course, she was assassinated mainly because of the fact that she was a woman (O’ Connor, 2010). Margaret Thatcher once said, “In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” women are seen as being unable to lead. Leading is stereotypically a man’s job.
I recently heard a story on the news about a man who had this unquenchable dream to become a pilot but did not have the financial resources. He was willing to do just about anything to achieve this dream of his, His wife being the “tradition woman” was a housewife. Being the loving, caring woman she is by nature, suggested that her husband sell their house in order for him to go away to aviation school to make this dream of his a reality. He did indeed sell the house and become a pilot after a couple years, all because of his wife’s sacrifice and submission to her husbands dream. He was praised for becoming a Plot and eventually opening his own school in Trinidad. But what about her? The news didn’t even make mention of what happened to his wife. Where did she stay all those years while he was at school? What did she do? Who did she have at her side with their children? What about her dreams?
Stereotypically, women didn’t have dreams and if they did they belonged in their heads -_- how unfair! The husband’s dreams however, are to become the wife’s dreams essentially. Of course that was traditional ways of thinking. Today through compromise and understanding both partners can have successful careers and make it in the professional world. Roles are even being switched up where men are the “stay-at-home-fathers” and the mothers are the breadwinners. As Judith Butler said in her article that gender is not biological but it is performed.
Butler, Judith. (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity, 128-130.
O’ Connor, K. P. (2010). Gender and Woman’s Leadership: A Reference Handbook, 384-385.