The Trini “Man Hoe”

According to the Urban Dictionary a “manwhore” can be described as “the male equivalent of a slut”. For the purpose of this being a Trini blog, I shall refer to the colloquial term “man hoe“. History has fueled the dominance of men, making it okay for men to be polygamous and sleep around while having a monogamous woman being submissive to him. Although, there has been many waves of feminism we still see this ideology being perpetuated today. The instant a girl flirts with a guys, has a fling or does anything that patriarchal society sees as unfit, she is deemed a “HOE” and is looked upon as the scum of the earth.

Recently, I’ve heard of many stories from females about guys they call a man hoe. Ladies don’t be naive, yes true love probably exist- not saying no. But in the society we live in today don’t expect to find it in the first guy who shows interest. Here are a few red flags that a guy might be a “man hoe”. Ladies I know you will relate, guys hard luck- but if it falls in your garden you know what to do.

  1. The Red Man syndrome. Fed up hear people bash “red woman” refer to my previous blog about “The Only Good Red Thing is a Dollar”. Instead of bashing the women, pay attention to some of the red skinned guys out here. Most red men who’s aware of the power their complexion takes advantage and pushes it to the limit. The arrogance is too much to take from some of you. You’re just red- not a god. Calm down. 
  2. The Douglas. Lemme just tell you- I have a weakness for mixed men, most females do to that fact. From observation and experience, some of these dougla guys just love sharing the genes of the two major ethnicity, they revel in it and walk around feeling like every female wants them. But some of you are just pennywise douglas anyway and playing games with innocent women. 
  3. The “so when we liming girl” type of guy. Every female you hit up is the same question, pretty sure some of you hit copy and paste in those DMs, because its always the same question. 
  4. “Netflix and Chill” guys. This is my pet peeve right here. Chivalry is dead! Dead I tell you. Some guys come at you, “I on’t like crowds, I don’t like to be in public, I’m a quiet type of guy maybe we can watch Netflix and Chill?” No girlfriend, he doesn’t like crowds on a first date cause he doesn’t wanna bounce up one of his other females. On a first date you should be asked to a movie and dinner AT LEAST, not straight to the living room or bedroom to “Netflix and Chill” cause we all know that connotes to “Netflix while I beat you out”  
  5. The party promoter. He promotes parties for a living… MAN HOE! Not gonna be harsh and say ALL guys who promote party bad. But guess what, he’ll flirt with every female and her 10 friends to get them to come to his party, they’ll think he wants them and you’ll look like the ass. Guess what his excuse will be that he’s “networking” and this party is for you bae, no girlfriend he’s sneaking away from you to wine on the smallie from whatsapp.
  6. I’m a good guy”. Red flag… Their introduction speech is about how good they are and faithful and not on games. He’s single because his last gf broke his heart and he hasn’t healed yet and that’s he afraid of being hurt and no girl has caught his interest – yet their IG pics getting 200+ likes and their whatsapp flooding? 
  7. “Everything on fleek” kinda guy. Ladies, he takes longer than you to get dressed, he shaves every other day, he uses out half bottle of cologne in one go, each curl is precisely identical and lays in a specific way, clothing matches, accessories are being worn everyday (bands, big ass bead necklaces I never understand, watches, piercings like whoa and ANKLETS!??), gym freak to BULK up not just for health… he’s not going the extra mile for one girl, otherwise he’d have settled down by now. Feel free to disagree- my opinion. 

This may not be totally true, but seeing from experience first hand and second hand has influenced these perceptions. Guys sorry for the bashing, but the next blog will be on the ladies 😉

Advertisements

De Only Good Red Thing is a Dollar

A calm Sunday evening while taking a drive with some friends around the savannah, we saw this gorgeous red-skinned girl. Her skin flawless, legs for days as she was showing them off in short shorts, curly hair, and brown eyes. Plaint talk… She was a looker (coming from a heterosexual female) even I did a double take, along with my two male and two female friends. Comments were “Damnnn that body”, “Omg, I love her hair”, “Woman to have”… and then out of the blue, “Too bad de only good red thing issa dollar!” that last comment had everyone else saying “For real” and in agreement. However, I’ve heard this all my life and its a social belief that majority of Trinibagonians use. Let’s be real if you’re a Trini there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve heard that phrase.

tumblr_mh0ds6fozB1rl95d5o6_1280_large

“De only good red thing is a dollar?” but why? My friends didn’t know the girl personally so why jump to that conclusion? This is where my curiosity to understand such a stereotype came from.

What does this statement even mean?

In the simplest way to put it, “De only good red thing is a dollar” with reference to a female who has lighter skin or as we know it “red skin” (usually mixed women), means that when it comes to red “things” the dollar beats back the woman, as the woman isn’t good, then she obviously has to be bad, right? Not really, this statement also attaches a connotation behind it that implies that “all red woman bad”. Don’t front here people we know what bad in Trini slang means.

trinidadmoney

Patriarchal Society

As much as we have feminists in an abundance these days, we can’t forget that we live in a patriarchal society where in the colonial era women were objectified and seen as objects to use, this is where we get the reference of encapsulating a women when speaking of “red things”

Unfair Stereotype

Being as objective as I can be and also doing research, surveys and ethnographic studies, I came to the conclusion that this stereotype is completely unfair to say the least. Majority of these women are usually perceived in a negative light because of this local stereotype that has existed since I could remember myself.

Why do people think red women are “bad”?

So I did some investigation into why people assume this. My method was to post a status on Facebook and allow the comments and opinions to pour in, the following images are screenshots of what was said.

The status I posted
The status I posted

IMG_20150322_181010

IMG_20150322_180859 IMG_20150322_180953

From the screenshots you can see that although there is some division among the comments, the majority of people agree that “the only good red thing is indeed a dollar”

The following are screenshots from a heated conversation about “red women” on Twitter:

IMG_20150322_184628 IMG_20150322_184650 IMG_20150322_184741 IMG_20150322_184930

Now these screenshots are extreme opinions of red women

People have usually said:

  • Red women have a bad attitude
  • Red women feel they better than everyone else
  • Red women like to “horn”
  • Red women too stush
  • Red women like material things
  • Red women can’t cook
  • Red women too high maintenance
  • Red women only good for looks and nothing else

The list goes on and on and on and on

Good “red women”

I can’t agree with the popular consensus because I have red skinned friends who are nothing like what these stereotypes state. My friends are all humble, friendly, faithful , down to earth, independent and ambitious. These young women have more to offer than just their great looks and complexion. They’re all furthering their studies and have never been in any compromising situation where they characters were questionable. However, they have all been victims of these stereotypical comments and even thought they’ve complained, they moved passed them because their goals are bigger than stereotypes that aren’t true, especially those that are attached to them because of their complexion.

adri
Adriana Salandy Student at UWI BA in Psychology
faithy
Faith Espinoza Administrative Secretary, Student: Associates in Tourism Management
lizzie
Elizabeth Cox Corporate Secretary Student: Business Management

So to conclude this blog, the only good red thing IS INDEED a dollar, because women aren’t things… We’re human beings.

“Woman make me a sandwich!”, said the man. GENDER STEREOTYPES IN SOCIETY

Men- breadwinner Women- homemaker
Men- breadwinner
Women- homemaker

Gender stereotypes have existed for as long as we all can remember. There has always been constant and fixed characteristics expected of men and women.

Oh mighty men, the strong and powerful, who are expected to be the breadwinners: dominant, independent and full of reason. While the ever so sensitive and fragile women who are natural caregivers and homemakers: submissive, dependent and emotional. These are just a few of the many characteristics expected from each gender role.

Stemming from medieval days, women were seen as objects “trophy wives” if we may call them. They were ornamental objects. Men made the decisions, they had the careers, they got the adventures. While women sat at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children; until her husband came home of course, so she could serve him. Women were not seen to be able to perform tasks that required much physical labor. The ads in the 1950s-1970s frequently portrayed women as helpless, weak and incompetent. This Del Monte Ketchup up from in 1953 shows the woman looking almost surprised in knowing she can open this “woman safe” ketchup bottle, as they coined the term. Talk about making a mockery of women, the feminists of today would throw a never ending fit about this ad.

Del Monte Ketchup’s 1953′s ad campaign
Del Monte Ketchup’s 1953′s ad campaign

Today in our society, women’s strive to gain equality has landed us being able to have careers in teaching, medicine and even law; which were all predominated by men. However, it is stereotyped that a woman is manly if she opts to become a mechanic or a carpenter and men are stereotyped as being effeminate when they choose to be a makeup artist, hair stylist or even design women’s clothing.

Although, times are changing and women are “taking over” we can still see that patriarchal backbone in the society still coming through. Indira Ghani, the first and only female Prime Minister of India was assassinated by two of her own body guards. What was the reason? Her gender of course, she was assassinated mainly because of the fact that she was a woman (O’ Connor, 2010). Margaret Thatcher once said, “In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”  women are seen as being unable to lead. Leading is stereotypically a man’s job.

I recently heard a story on the news about a man who had this unquenchable dream to become a pilot but did not have the financial resources. He was willing to do just about anything to achieve this dream of his, His wife being the “tradition woman” was a housewife. Being the loving, caring woman she is by nature, suggested that her husband sell their house in order for him to go away to aviation school to make this dream of his a reality. He did indeed sell the house and become a pilot after a couple years, all because of his wife’s sacrifice and submission to her husbands dream. He was praised for becoming a Plot and eventually opening his own school in Trinidad. But what about her? The news didn’t even make mention of what happened to his wife. Where did she stay all those years while he was at school? What did she do? Who did she have at her side with their children? What about her dreams?

Stereotypically, women didn’t have dreams and if they did they belonged in their heads -_-  how unfair! The husband’s dreams however, are to become the wife’s dreams essentially. Of course that was traditional ways of thinking. Today through compromise and understanding both partners can have successful careers and make it in the professional world. Roles are even being switched up where men are the “stay-at-home-fathers” and the mothers are the breadwinners. As Judith Butler said in her article that gender is not biological but it is performed.

7318313630_e0440959f4_z

References:

Butler, Judith. (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity, 128-130.

O’ Connor, K. P. (2010). Gender and Woman’s Leadership: A Reference Handbook, 384-385.

Margaret Thatcher Quotes. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/gender-stereotypes