The Trini “Man Hoe”

According to the Urban Dictionary a “manwhore” can be described as “the male equivalent of a slut”. For the purpose of this being a Trini blog, I shall refer to the colloquial term “man hoe“. History has fueled the dominance of men, making it okay for men to be polygamous and sleep around while having a monogamous woman being submissive to him. Although, there has been many waves of feminism we still see this ideology being perpetuated today. The instant a girl flirts with a guys, has a fling or does anything that patriarchal society sees as unfit, she is deemed a “HOE” and is looked upon as the scum of the earth.

Recently, I’ve heard of many stories from females about guys they call a man hoe. Ladies don’t be naive, yes true love probably exist- not saying no. But in the society we live in today don’t expect to find it in the first guy who shows interest. Here are a few red flags that a guy might be a “man hoe”. Ladies I know you will relate, guys hard luck- but if it falls in your garden you know what to do.

  1. The Red Man syndrome. Fed up hear people bash “red woman” refer to my previous blog about “The Only Good Red Thing is a Dollar”. Instead of bashing the women, pay attention to some of the red skinned guys out here. Most red men who’s aware of the power their complexion takes advantage and pushes it to the limit. The arrogance is too much to take from some of you. You’re just red- not a god. Calm down. 
  2. The Douglas. Lemme just tell you- I have a weakness for mixed men, most females do to that fact. From observation and experience, some of these dougla guys just love sharing the genes of the two major ethnicity, they revel in it and walk around feeling like every female wants them. But some of you are just pennywise douglas anyway and playing games with innocent women. 
  3. The “so when we liming girl” type of guy. Every female you hit up is the same question, pretty sure some of you hit copy and paste in those DMs, because its always the same question. 
  4. “Netflix and Chill” guys. This is my pet peeve right here. Chivalry is dead! Dead I tell you. Some guys come at you, “I on’t like crowds, I don’t like to be in public, I’m a quiet type of guy maybe we can watch Netflix and Chill?” No girlfriend, he doesn’t like crowds on a first date cause he doesn’t wanna bounce up one of his other females. On a first date you should be asked to a movie and dinner AT LEAST, not straight to the living room or bedroom to “Netflix and Chill” cause we all know that connotes to “Netflix while I beat you out”  
  5. The party promoter. He promotes parties for a living… MAN HOE! Not gonna be harsh and say ALL guys who promote party bad. But guess what, he’ll flirt with every female and her 10 friends to get them to come to his party, they’ll think he wants them and you’ll look like the ass. Guess what his excuse will be that he’s “networking” and this party is for you bae, no girlfriend he’s sneaking away from you to wine on the smallie from whatsapp.
  6. I’m a good guy”. Red flag… Their introduction speech is about how good they are and faithful and not on games. He’s single because his last gf broke his heart and he hasn’t healed yet and that’s he afraid of being hurt and no girl has caught his interest – yet their IG pics getting 200+ likes and their whatsapp flooding? 
  7. “Everything on fleek” kinda guy. Ladies, he takes longer than you to get dressed, he shaves every other day, he uses out half bottle of cologne in one go, each curl is precisely identical and lays in a specific way, clothing matches, accessories are being worn everyday (bands, big ass bead necklaces I never understand, watches, piercings like whoa and ANKLETS!??), gym freak to BULK up not just for health… he’s not going the extra mile for one girl, otherwise he’d have settled down by now. Feel free to disagree- my opinion. 

This may not be totally true, but seeing from experience first hand and second hand has influenced these perceptions. Guys sorry for the bashing, but the next blog will be on the ladies 😉

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“Woman make me a sandwich!”, said the man. GENDER STEREOTYPES IN SOCIETY

Men- breadwinner Women- homemaker
Men- breadwinner
Women- homemaker

Gender stereotypes have existed for as long as we all can remember. There has always been constant and fixed characteristics expected of men and women.

Oh mighty men, the strong and powerful, who are expected to be the breadwinners: dominant, independent and full of reason. While the ever so sensitive and fragile women who are natural caregivers and homemakers: submissive, dependent and emotional. These are just a few of the many characteristics expected from each gender role.

Stemming from medieval days, women were seen as objects “trophy wives” if we may call them. They were ornamental objects. Men made the decisions, they had the careers, they got the adventures. While women sat at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children; until her husband came home of course, so she could serve him. Women were not seen to be able to perform tasks that required much physical labor. The ads in the 1950s-1970s frequently portrayed women as helpless, weak and incompetent. This Del Monte Ketchup up from in 1953 shows the woman looking almost surprised in knowing she can open this “woman safe” ketchup bottle, as they coined the term. Talk about making a mockery of women, the feminists of today would throw a never ending fit about this ad.

Del Monte Ketchup’s 1953′s ad campaign
Del Monte Ketchup’s 1953′s ad campaign

Today in our society, women’s strive to gain equality has landed us being able to have careers in teaching, medicine and even law; which were all predominated by men. However, it is stereotyped that a woman is manly if she opts to become a mechanic or a carpenter and men are stereotyped as being effeminate when they choose to be a makeup artist, hair stylist or even design women’s clothing.

Although, times are changing and women are “taking over” we can still see that patriarchal backbone in the society still coming through. Indira Ghani, the first and only female Prime Minister of India was assassinated by two of her own body guards. What was the reason? Her gender of course, she was assassinated mainly because of the fact that she was a woman (O’ Connor, 2010). Margaret Thatcher once said, “In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”  women are seen as being unable to lead. Leading is stereotypically a man’s job.

I recently heard a story on the news about a man who had this unquenchable dream to become a pilot but did not have the financial resources. He was willing to do just about anything to achieve this dream of his, His wife being the “tradition woman” was a housewife. Being the loving, caring woman she is by nature, suggested that her husband sell their house in order for him to go away to aviation school to make this dream of his a reality. He did indeed sell the house and become a pilot after a couple years, all because of his wife’s sacrifice and submission to her husbands dream. He was praised for becoming a Plot and eventually opening his own school in Trinidad. But what about her? The news didn’t even make mention of what happened to his wife. Where did she stay all those years while he was at school? What did she do? Who did she have at her side with their children? What about her dreams?

Stereotypically, women didn’t have dreams and if they did they belonged in their heads -_-  how unfair! The husband’s dreams however, are to become the wife’s dreams essentially. Of course that was traditional ways of thinking. Today through compromise and understanding both partners can have successful careers and make it in the professional world. Roles are even being switched up where men are the “stay-at-home-fathers” and the mothers are the breadwinners. As Judith Butler said in her article that gender is not biological but it is performed.

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References:

Butler, Judith. (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity, 128-130.

O’ Connor, K. P. (2010). Gender and Woman’s Leadership: A Reference Handbook, 384-385.

Margaret Thatcher Quotes. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/gender-stereotypes